A Lazy Excuse for a Post

Yeah, it's not really a post today, but I love the new show Community. And at the end each week, Abed & Troy do some goofy antic in the library as the credits go by. I'm fond of this one because it's the kind of dumb-sh*t thing that I would get caught doing.....
(except to you, of course!)

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THE Pink Power Ranger

As you all may know, I refer to my police-officer little sister as Pink Power Ranger here on this blog.

Meet one of her sisters.

Kimberly Munley, the civilian police officer who shot the Fort Hood gunman, sustaining wounds of her own during the confrontation.

For June Cleaver A6P & Smook

June Cleaver After A Six-Pack and Smook, the two people most responsible for corrupting my otherwise intelligent, mature, dismissive adult self....

Nature Calling

The picture over there is the view from my bed.  Ok, Urban Dad's side of the bed.  Y'see, our Urban Apartment two-flat was built in the 1920's, so you can forget an ensuite bathroom.  This is what serves the top floor. (we expanded a few years ago into the basement, but that's another post)

Now my point... because I usually get around to one...

Urban Kid 1 is now 6yo.  Therefore, she is old enough now that we don't have to be concerned about her trips to the bathroom at night.  She used to come to our doorway and whisper as loudly as one can while still whispering, "I have to go to the bathroom!"  Since Urban Dad's side is closer, he would gallantly leap out of bed and escort her to her task.

Now that she no longer needs even an escort, she just goes in on her own.  Somewhere in my sub-conscious, I hear the clunk of the lid flipping up, then check back out until the ker-flush at the end, followed by a loud plunk of the lid flipping back down and the squirt of hand sanitizer.

So I gently suggested to Urban Kid 1 that just in the middle of the night, she could skip the ker-flush and head quietly back to bed like a big girl does.  She adamently nodded her head in all of her First Born eagerness to please and all excited to do just as a big girl does.

Fast forward to the next time she has a nocturnal call of nature:

I hear the clunk of the lid flipping up and fade back to sleep.  Next is the clunk of the lid flipping down and squirt of the hand sanitizer. I'm fading from semi-conscious back into dead asleep during the moments of silence after this.  Little did I know that Urban Kid 1 did not go straight back to her bedroom.  She was hovering in our doorway, taking a deep breath before announcing in her loudest possible whisper that isn't really that much of a whisper:

"I didn't flush the toilet because I didn't want to wake anyone up!!!" 

This has gone on for months now.

I want to point out the lack of logic of the announcement, but Urban Dad keeps holding me back. 

"She's trying to be nice.  It's sweet!"
"But she's waking us up!"
"So what? It's cute."
"Not as cute as me sleeping."

And so we go on. 

I'm often warned about wishing these years away.  I certainly see the charm in them, don't  get me wrong.  Lord knows that I'm aware that in about ten years both of the Urban Kids could very well hate me. 

But I'm also kind of looking forward to a time when I am only concerned with my own trips to the bathroom!

Because It's Sunday Night...

and so I have school tomorrow on my mind...

I recently was on the receiving end of two comments about homeschooling:

Scenario #1:

"You're not like a typical homeschool mom."

This was meant as a compliment by a very nice young woman.  But I was left wondering...

HUH? 

What exactly are her expectations of a homeschool mom?  Was her intent to say that I exceed them somehow?
How many homeschool moms has she encountered? 
Were they enough for her to make an assumption about an entire group? 
Would she say something like this about any other group?  For example, "you're not like a typical gay man?" or "you're not like a typical white woman?"
Just about everyone to whom I mention our educational decision for our kids responds that they know someone who has done or is doing this, so are we all that "fringe" anymore?   (more on that topic here)

Scenario #2:

There's a public school at the end of our block.  On the weekends, the neighborhood kids often play there, whether they attend the school or not.  One particular mom asked the inevitable question that follows, "How old is Urban Kid 1?" after learning that she is six:  "Where does she go to school?  Here at the Neighborhood School?"  Upon my truthful and cheerful reply, she emphatically shared that some people who homeschool "really offend" her.  She expanded on it having to do with the teaching of creation theories.  And then repeated how "really and truly offended" she was on the topic.

She then turned her back on me, not really interested in hearing my response.

Ok, seriously lady?  That offends you?  Frankly, my own plan for that particular topic is to teach Darwin's thoughts on it for Science and the other schools of thought on the topic under the umbrella of Philosophy.  I do not plan to teach the Urban Kids that either school of thought is offensive. 

Frankly, since becoming a parent, and especially since exploring educational options, I have come to the heartfelt conclusion that your children are yours to raise.  Outside of doing the obvious abuses of them (because that is actually offensive), parents should be allowed to raise their kids any way they want.  You want to go up to the top of a mountain, pour purple ink all over yourselves and chant at the moon?  Knock yourself out.  Don't get me wrong -- it's highly unlikely that your kids will be having too many playdates with the Urban Kids -- but as a parent, if you're otherwise stable and that's your idea of recreation, then it's your right to go right ahead.  I'll be left scratching my head, but I won't work myself up to being "offended" about it.

This decision is proving to be the best option for our family at this stage of life.  It matches with our educational goals and our values.  (while religion was not an overwhelming factor in the decision, values definitely were; you could say they're related, but let's actually meet in person for coffee for that chat, shall we? i promise to not get offended.)

Ok, back on track --

I would not expect that this decision would be the best option for your family.  I would enthusiastically share what I've learned and send you in various directions for your own research, but never in a million years would I be offended at whatever decision you might make for your kids.

Urban Kid 1 socializes -- yes, folks, she spends time with other children, is invited to birthday parties and play dates, etc -- with kids from all over the spectrum of life.  She lives in a neighborhood known for its gay population.  She is buddies with a neighborhood kid who goes to a $21,000 a year private school instead of the one at the end of our block.  She is buddies with a kid who goes to a tiny Catholic school instead of the one at the end of our block.  She is buddies with a couple of kids who go to the public school in the next neighborhood.  Another buddy attends a Montessori school all the way in Evanston instead of the neighborhood school!  She is buddies with kids of various religions, ethnicities and incomes.  Most of the parents of Urban Kid's buddies have diametrically opposing political views as our own (some assume that we agree because we are too polite to delve into what could be an "offensive" argument, but that's a different post).  Urban Dad stands in front of students who are quite literally from all over the world; we make it a point to get the Urban Kids up there to hang out.

And for the most part, we're a private bunch.  We wake up each day and go about our business.  We practice good manners when we leave the house.  We get out and about and do fun activities and make friends.  We don't assume that others are offensive because they're going about things in a way that would not work for us.

I figure that we're all shooting for the same basic goals, and that we're all finding our own roads to getting there, be they stereotypical or not.  And that this is cool -- not offensive.

Perhaps I'm over-reacting.  I'm certainly giving it more time than it all deserves.  It just all gave me a bit of pause.

Viva la difference.

Happy Anniversary, Urban Dad!

Seven years ago today, I finally came to my senses and made my Urban Boyfriend my Urban Husband.  Eleven months later, with the arrival of Urban Kid 1, he became Urban Dad.  I was scared to death of marriage and parenthood, but he was patient.  Ok, and persistent.  And then patient some more.  And I think that he was still a little nervous after Urban Kid 1 was born. 

Hey, did I ever tell you that Best Namma Ever! and the Pink Power Ranger were devising backup emergency plans once they learned I was pregnant with Urban Kid 1?  They recognized that the biggest commitmentphobe and least domestic person in the family was knocked up.  Fortunately, they didn't tell me that until I was thoroughly and blissfully settled into life as Urban Mom.

Anywhooooo, read more details about our slighly unusual engagment and wedding here.


So we're getting a babysitter -- a real, live babysitter!!!! -- and heading out for an overpriced, yet truly wonderful dinner here. 

We get dressed up in our Sunday Best and go here every year for our anniversary, and it's always perfect.  We look back over the time we've had so far and make big fantasy plans for the future.  We point out other tables where we have had other anniversary dinners.  We recognize how well and truly blessed we are to have the happy life that we do.

It's my favorite meal of the year.

Lest I get too serious, however.......

Field Trip Week... Fail??

Well, I was just all bursting with ambition over taking the week off of Regular School and doing Field Trip Week.  We were going to get out there and soak up all kinds of piles of educational splendor available to us folks lucky enough to live in the bustling metropolis of Chicago.  Except there was one problem:

The Urban Kids weren't into it.

Yeah, I know....

So here was the plan, and where the plan fell apart:

Monday:  Lincoln Park Zoo

We had our folder of Animal Observation Sheets and were going to carefully take notes on a few animals.  I had checked out the website the evening before and was aware of every feeding, training, Meet An Animal chat that the zoo had that a.m.  I had packed lunches for the three of us and stuffed them into my Mom Purse.

We happily ran around from animal to animal.  We met a box turtle, watched an otter do flips off of the glass, saw the gray seal get its feeding & training.  After much pleading from Urban Kid 2 to "see the juh-waffs," we stopped by the giraffes. 

We ate our lunches in a windowless room in a basement where people who bring their own stuff are banished.  (people who pay $6.75 for a peanut butter & jelly sandwich get sunlight and chairs that are not flipped over onto the tables, thus reminding us that yes, you get what you pay for sometimes)  We rode the merry-go-round when U-Kid 2 was dozing off.  But I should have just let her fall asleep, because we scored a cushy new "kneeling" bus that was virtually empty for our trip home.

We spent a long stretch gazing at the monkeys.  They returned the favor.

Realizing that we were running out of time as far as U-Kid 2 needing a nap/avoiding a meltdown, I told Urban Kid 1 that we could see the kangaroos (an animal we have studied) or the polar bears (an animal we are going to study), but not both, as they are at opposite ends of the zoo. 

She opted for the polar bears, so off we dashed to find...... an empty pen.  No bears lounging in the sun.  No bears swimming in the pool.  No access to any indoor observation place.

peek-a-boo, i *don't* see you!

Ah well, it was basically a pretty day and a good way to spend it.  We came back home, did the nap/quiet time that Urban Mom loves to pieces likes to give the kids, and did an afternoon outside class for Urban Kid 1 (i'll list the stuff we do on the left there, but sorry, not telling where we are on which days).

Tuesday:  Shedd Aquarium

I was trying to hustle the Urban Kids out of the door in order to get there by 9a when the Shedd opened.  We got there bright and early, and therefore scored metered street parking -- my big goal, since garage parking is $19, so yay me on that one.  However, the Urban Kids were crabby!  Urban Kid 2 was making her opinion of this particular trip very clear by throwing things and splaying herself across a bench and otherwise making a complete jackass of me spectacle of herself.  And Urban Kid 1 did not show the slightest interest in any animals.  And, we went to the Shedd on Tuesday because it was advertised as a Free Day.  So what does Free Day mean to YOU?  Because to the Shedd, it means, The Good Stuff Is Not Free; We Will Lure You Down Here And Then Demand $35 To Show You The Good Stuff Like The Dolphins or Penguins or Even A Damn Jellyfish.

Sigh.  It wasn't the money.  It was the principle.  They dangled a day of free fun in front of a family of four living in the city on a teacher's salary.  And then they welched on it.  Feeling punk'd grumpy about it, we checked out a few displays, Urban Kid 1 actually listened for a few minutes to the feeding at the tank in the rotunda,

we ate our little lunches again -- but I had to bail out because U-Kid 2 was screeching and flailing -- and headed outdoors. 

It was just as well.  It was a beautiful day outside.

So they ran and played and picked every little flower they could find and joyfully brought it to me.  Joyfully!  Finally, a happy moment on Tuesday!

Then we remembered the little playground area between the Field Museum and the Shedd.

And then we remembered that our parking meter was about to expire and headed back to the car.  Because if I wasn't going to pay $35 in Lie To Me Money admission fees, I sure wasn't going to pay $75 for Stupid Tax a parking fine.

Wednesday:

Hey Urban Kids, want to go to the Museum of Science & Industry?

Naaaaahhhh.

Yeah, but it's free every weekday this month.  It would be fun.  It's Field Trip Week.  You want to go?

Naaaahhhh.

And so I had to ponder picking my battles.  And it was the last 70-degree day that Chicago will see until May.  We will be buried alive in several feet of snow before we know.  Last winter we had -18 degree days before factoring in the windchill.

And so we blew it off and just took the day off completely.

We went to Ulta and picked up makeup for Urban Kid 1's Halloween costume (Cleopatra).  We went to CVS and picked up necessities.  We meandered the neighborhood.  We went to the ramp behind a neighborhood church and ran up and down the ramp and some staisr, gathered leaves into a pile and then threw them around.  We met friends at a playground and played until the sun went down.

(And I have secret plans to possibly meet our neighbors at the MSI later this week.  ssshhhhhhhh.....)

It was perfect.

Thursday:

Hey Urban Kids, you want to go to the Butterfly Haven at the Nature Museum today?  (again, a free day)

Naaaaaahhhh.

Would you rather go to the Butterfly Haven or do regular school?  (ha ha, now i have 'em)

School.

Wha'???  Really???? (high pitched and quite shocked)

Yeah. The Butterfly room is hot.

But that's the point!!!

Mmmmmm..... let's do school today instead.

(scratching head)  Ummmmm.... okayyyyy.... I guess. 

Friday:  was never going to be a part of Field Trip Week, as we have three different outside activities stacked up like planes circling O'Hare on Fridays.  I do not want to mess with Fridays.

I'm thinking that the next shot at this will be Field Trip Month.  One Field Trip a week for a month.  Build some anticipation maybe.

Shrug.

There are worse ways to spend a week.