Saturday, May 1, 2010

Puttin' The "Fun" in Dysfunctional

I won't go toooooo far into the details, but here are the Cliff Notes.

Urban Dad is not one to let anyone lord false loyalties over him.  His family is utterly bizarre, with major events that have echoed for generations. 

Couple that with moving as often as any military brat (e.g.: three high schools in four years), and you can start to understand that he's able to chat easily with strangers, but is immensely private all at the same time.  He seems to have found a healthy disconnection from the madness -- and I swear he did it at the uncanny age of about ten years old.

I used to hesitate to tell him the weirdnesses of my family, but he always reassured me with, "what are you going to do?  SHOCK me??"  And then I think of the long, multi-generational craziness and come to the conclusion that my side of the family is now at the point where we can best be described as putting the FUN in dysFUNctional.

But not his.  In fact, I joke that U-Dad is like the blonde gal in The Munsters... the only normal one of a really freaky bunch.

Recently, BIL#1 has been caring for MIL.  It's too long to ever get into here, and not exactly appropriate to air too much stuff, but let's just say that the two of them have been running their own private insane asylum up in the mountains of Colorado.

Even more recently, a doctor has come on the scene.  Doctors have been on the scene before, but usually get fed up and leave.  This one is new, so we'll see how long he lasts.  But he seems quite nice.  He also seems to know bullsh*t when he sees it, and he's even managed to remove MIL from BIL#1's care and into a professional care facility.  And he seems to want to get a holistic view of his patient (MIL), to understand her history and the people around her.

I would also bet the rent check that after the short time that he's been involved on this scene, that he is no longer taking BIL#1's phone calls.  But that's ok.  Neither is anyone else, really.

Anywhoooo, I've been having the occasional chat with New Doctor.  Urban Dad can't be reached until after 3p, especially to discuss anything personal, so I get an idea of the latest news while maintaining my own radio silence with BIL#1 and MIL.  U-Dad then has an idea of what's coming when he talks to New Doctor or if he needs to place any calls to MIL's lawyer or bookkeeper, etc before returning ND's call.

Well, ND has dealt with a lot of families before this one.  And he did much of his training in Las Vegas, including psychiatric care.

And he told me -- in the kindest way possible -- that he has never in his career seen a more dysfunctional family.
 Later that night, when it was just U-Dad and me, we brought that up.  And y'know why I love U-Dad?  'Cause he didn't deny it or get defensive.  He just gave a small smile and confessed, "y'know, i'm maybe a bit proud of that one." I laughed and said something about, "in for a pint, in for a pound?"  This then had him laughing and saying, "go big or go home!"  Peals of stress-relieving laughter soon followed.

He's also decided that the dysfunction stops here.  The Urban Kids' exposure to his family is kept to a bare minimum.  Sense of humor and smart.  Such an amazing combination, right?


Jenni said...

Well, it's nice to be good at something. My mom's family could probably give U-Dad's some competition, which is why the few (semi)sane members among them have kept their distance from the others. (LOL, I just had a Lost moment saying that. Our others are much more frightening and mysterious.)

Mothership said...

Good for Urban Dad. It sounds like you struck gold.

Hen Jen said...

sounds like you got a smart guy. My family is pure crazy, I don't feel all so bad, because dh met them all before we married, he had full disclosure...including the great grandma that had 25 large cats in her house. I wish my blog was totally anon, then I could really tell some stories!!!

you are so much more restrained then I could probably be in your shoes!!

rita said...

I wish I hadn't told my mom about my blog, either. Or anyone else in my family, for that matter. I could have some funnnnnn......

You sure hit the jackpot with Urban Dad! Crazy usually falls pretty close to the tree; maybe he was left on their doorstep?