Thursday, September 17, 2009

A Glimpse Into The Mind of Urban Mom

Ok, ok.  This whole blog is meant to give you a glimpse into the machinations of my thought process.  But I thought that this particular post might give you an idea of where I come from, of my roots, yes, of my relationship with the Pink Power Ranger.

You see, PPR & I have nothing in common.  We have always had utterly different lives.  I was a straight-A, club-involved Varsity athlete in high school, she wore a black leather jacket and walked from the front door of the school straight to the back door; I live in the city of Chicago, she lives in the far-flung suburbs of St. Louis; I went from corporate drone to high school teacher to homeschool mom, she straps on Kevlar, packs heat and goes into situations that we regular folks would run the hell away from; I'm married with two kids, she sleeps late and does whatever the hell she wants with her own money.

You get the idea.

However, we also have everything in common.  While we are complete polar opposites, we have some "interesting" characters in common and the unusual common history of our goofy family (and let's just add that she and I share the same feelings regarding Her Husband).  She and I share a sense of humor that might be called, well..... dark.  Urban Dad does not share this sense of humor, so I don't get to show that side too much at home.  But you can imagine how PPR hones hers during the course of her work week.

Here's our idea of humor:

This exchange took place while I was visiting Best Namma Ever! and using her computer late one evening.  Keep in mind that until this moment, I saw the Skype icon on her desktop, but didn't really understand what it is until I heard a *ding* and saw PPR's note.  This is my first-ever Skype conversation!

[10:34:58 PM] PPR: Hi Mommy!

[10:35:45 PM] Me (pretending to be BNE!): Hi Sweetie, how are you?

[10:36:57 PM] PPR: Just fine. Tired. Ran a LOT of errands today. Going to paint my bedroom tomorrow.

[10:37:12 PM] PPR: Will still be there by 3 though ;)   

[10:37:14 PM] Me (pretending to be BNE!): What color?

[10:37:23 PM]  Me (still pretending t be BNE!): Don't be late.

[10:37:42 PM]  PPR: An earthtone beige with a hint of yellow. I can bring you a swatch of it.

[10:38:09 PM]  Me (continuing to pretend to be BNE!): Would love to see it. By the way, I have to tell you something important.

[10:38:23 PM]  PPR: What

[10:38:32 PM] PPR: No one can see this but me.

[10:38:35 PM] Me (just eating up this delicious moment): Valerie is my favorite.

[10:38:48 PM]  Me (giggling my hiney off like a 12yo): BWAAAAA HAAAA HAAA HAAAAAA

[10:38:58 PM]  PPR: I already knew that. You make it quite obvious.

[10:39:48 PM]  PPR: I got kicked out onto the mean streets to fend for myself when I was only ten.

[10:40:16 PM]  Me (only kinda being BNE! now): Ten? Gee, I must've been really drunk. I thought you were twelve.
{note to reader: it's ok; BNE! is not and has never been a drunk}

[10:40:23 PM] PPR: I had to walk to school in blizzards and you drove by slowly with Valerie-waving and smiling.

[10:41:08 PM] PPR: It's okay. Now I carry a gun and I am perfecting my knowledge of crime scene staging.

[10:41:19 PM] PPR: Bwaaaa haaaa haaaa haaaa

[10:41:45 PM] Me: You can be late tomorrow.

[10:42:38 PM]  PPR: I thought so. Wench.

[10:42:57 PM]  PPR: Heee heee

[10:43:38 PM] Me: Heeee heeee back atcha.

[10:43:42 PM]  Me (as BNE!): Nighty night!

[10:43:51 PM]  Me (as BNE!): "mommy" is sleepy

[10:44:32 PM]   PPR:  Go sleep it off. See you tomorrow. Try to keep the pain killers and liquor in their respective bottles and out of your tummy.

[10:45:20 PM]  Me (as BNE!): but the dreams are so much better if i mix them. i dream that i'm single....

Ok, maybe PPR and I are the only ones that get it and find it funny.  Maybe it was a "you had to be there" kind of moment.  And maybe "you had to be there" moments that happen in cyber-space are that much harder to translate to other people later.

But I'll confess that I'm strangely looking forward to using my mom's computer again on my next visit!



Uptown Girl said...

there is something so special about sisters. Even tho I have a whole herd of siblings, I just have that kind of relationship with the sister that is my roomie. I can't imagine "growing up" someday and not living closeby. Who would put my outfits together? Who would lend me jewelry? Who would give my boytoys the 3rd degree?
Almost no one can "get" me quite like my sister... and even tho she gets my sense of humor she still rolls her eyes.
I loved this post Urban Mom!

Uptown Girl said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Urban Mom said...

U-Girl, THANK YOU! How did I miss THAT? Very much appreciate you reading so closely. =-)

Uptown Girl said...

anytime, that's what i'm here for. i basically patrol the blogoverse.
(and rly- my reading comprehension depends on reading closely, i can't skim)

rita said...

I have three sisters, and they're my best friends. Well, two of them are. The third I see maybe once a year (baby of the family, lives in a world of her own).

While Tom and I were heading south in June, I discovered that my CrackBerry could be used to access Facebook. Up to that point, fb was something that I saw as useless. Had to sit in front of the computer to use it, and that's just too much trouble. But that evening I discovered that it's FUN.

My two sisters fb'd me for hours as we drove through the night. It was so much fun! At one point, one of their daughters dropped in with a "My God, you people talk a lot!" It was so cool to be able to communicate with them from such a distance.

If I want to use fb at home, it's in front of the computer, and it's a total timesuck (no cell service at home; WV mountains, you know). But caught in that car speeding through the night with my Crack in hand, it opened a whole new world for me.

For the next five weeks, that Crack was with me every moment. I became a slave to it. Willingly. The Keys are on a 3g network and I could stay up all night fbing friends and family.

Yeah, we could actually talk to each other, but since no one knows how to do conference calls (and since I absolutely HATE talking on the phone) it was so cool to be able to joke and laugh with them through fb.

My two sisters spent a week with us in Marathon, not nearly long enough (while the baby just happened to be vacationing in Daytona with her *friends* instead of with us), we fb'd all summer. I loved it.

And now we've bought our dream house* in the Keys and I'll be able to take advantage of that 3g network all the time. I won't move down till next June, but that Crack will be with me every step of the way.

*Dream house = a foreclosed-on property that we fell in love with during the summer and wanted to buy, but we couldn't till we sold our place. It went up for auction last weekend and by some fancy financial finagling, we GOT IT! Now we'll have to pour another $75,000 into it and it'll actually be a dream rather than a nightmare.

Woohoo!!! We have a pool! It's filled with green goo right now, but soon it'll be sparkling clean. Come on down (once we have guest rooms and a decent bathroom) and sit by the pool with me! I'll provide the drinks.

Hen Jen said...

I found that very entertaining, when did you tell her it was you, or did she already have it figured out?

Urban Mom said...

As soon as I said, "Valerie is my favorite," the gig was up. Everything after that, she shows it's me!