While we Urbans were in St. Louis at Best Namma Ever!'s house, PPR and her fiance (I haven't quite come up with a name for him yet... I am growing up and beginning to like him, hence weenie boyfriend is no longer an option) came over for pizza and chit-chat with us and some other friends. PPR came in and swooped directly back to BNE!'s bedroom, the last door on the left of the hallway. I happened to be coming out of BNE!'s room when I ran into PPR.
Me: You're late again.
Me: The muti-colored thing there. Why?
Me: Uh, ok, she's in the kitchen with everyone, why?
Me & PPR: (uproarious laughter at the very thought)
A few days later, I needed to
Me: Hey BNE!, want to come with us and hang out a bit?
And so off we went.
With the exception of JC Penney, which we had to cut through in order to get to and from out car, BNE! proceeded to set off alarms everywhere. The first few times, it was "huh, that's weird." The next few times it was, "ok, what's the deal?"
WOOP WOOP WOOP
BNE! was starting to figure out that it was something about her.
Oh hey, did I mention that whenever BNE! turned her back that I was frantically texting PPR?
After the overpriced bungee thing, we made our way to one of those little plastic indoor playgrounds where cabin-fevered small children can run off some adrenalin. As we settled in to watch the Urban Kids, I offered to go into the adjacent Border's and pick up a few hot beverages. My treat. (see, i am nice!) But BNE! -- God bless her wonderful heart -- said, "oh no, I'd like to go in anyway, so I'll pick up something for us while you watch the kids."
She is a gift, isn't she?
As she walked off, I immediately phoned PPR and told her all that was happening. Whoever may have seen PPR in her patrol car at that moment might have worried about the armed woman unable to breathe due to fits of laughter.
Of course, as we talked, BNE! finished browsing the sale books outside of the store and wandered inside.
WOOP WOOP WOOP
I thought PPR would wet herself.
From where I was sitting, I could watch the Urban Kids and the entrance to Borders, so I waited in blissful anticipation, still chatting with PPR.
PPR: I can't believe I'm missing this! It was MY joke!
As BNE! came back out, two lovely hot drinks with her, once again came WOOP WOOP WOOP.
Aggravation gave way to exasperation. I hurriedly ditched PPR.
BNE!: That's IT. No more! I am not going into one more store today! This is just crazy!
May I just say that I deserve an Academy Award for Best Actress for my ability to look genuinely puzzled? For my ability to look genuinely weirded out? For my ability to ask if perhaps there was a problem that she wanted to share with me... with a completely straight face?
By the way, PPR only 'fessed up a few days ago. Her fiance made her. (to their credit, both Urban Dad and PPR's fiance were absolutely appalled at us)
Oh, and BNE! was not stopped at all by any kind of security during all of this. Not once!