Friday, April 24, 2009

Wardrobe Malfunction

Some people.... you can tell they don't have kids.

Today was an unbelievably beautiful day. The day that all of Chicago has been waiting for and wondering if it was ever going to come around again. So we knocked out a bit of school -- enough to call it "school," but no more, -- and headed out. Today was Urban Kid 1's Piano Party, the last piano class of the session, sort of a mini-recital. This, of course, called for a trip to the nail salon, right? (ok, this may have been slightly self-serving)

U-Kid 1 and I have a ritual where we duck into the local Argo Tea right next door to the nail salon and get a drink -- chai for me, juice box for her -- before we go into the salon. And what is on the back of the t-shirt of the young woman in front of us? Go ahead, guess.

A t-shirt that in large, bright pink letters says,


*sigh* Thanks, "lady." My 5yo U-Kid 1 can read.

U-Kid 1 was distracted by her search for the perfect juicebox out of the fridge-y thing, which was a relief. Another mom with two kids in a stroller also came along behind us, which was another relief. While this other mom was just as annoyed as me, our older girls were at least chatting with each other enough to not notice the shirt too much.

I did see that U-Kid 1 saw the shirt, but she did not ask about it. If she did ask about it? My plan was to say, loudly enough for all involved to hear, "I don't know what it means, sweetie. Why not ask the gal wearing the shirt? Perhaps she can explain it to you."

To the young woman's slight credit, she clued into the families behind her. As she waited for her drink further down the counter, she turned around so that she was facing us. And once she got her drink, her first few steps back towards the door were kind of a sideways shuffle.

Now if it's 11:00pm on a Friday night in our neighborhood, and for some reason I take out the kids, then it's on me if they see something inappropriate for little eyes. But 11:00 AM??? In the tea store? It's not like I took the U-Kids for a walk past the various Adult stores on Halsted Street (also in our neighborhood -- we have to drive by them several times a week, but they have not yet caught U-Kid 1's attention; luckily, they keep the silly, cartoony stuff in the windows rather than the ... erm ... nitty-gritty stuff).

It reminds me of once when I took U-Kid 1 shopping downtown. We were standing at a stoplight waiting to cross Michigan Avenue when the twenty-something in front of us was emphatically telling a story to her friend, peppered with grown-up words. As soon as she laid eyes on U-Kid 1, she slapped her hand over her mouth, looked embarrassed and apologized over and over to me. Her reaction was so horrified that I couldn't be mad. In fact, it was pretty funny. But there also aren't that many little kids on Michigan Avenue on a weekday in the wintertime.

There are a lot of kids around in my neighborhood in the middle of a warm, beautiful, sunny Friday.

Don't get me wrong. I'm no prude. Put Pink Power Ranger and me alone in a car together discussing this relative or that in-law, and I could outdo what is on the federal wiretaps of our ex-Governor and his wife. But to wear that shirt anywhere but on Padre Island on Spring Break? I'd be convinved that Best Namma Ever! would pop out of somewhere and smack me on the back of the head so hard that I would come to my senses and yours. My as-yet-uncreated-grandchildren would have sense smacked into them by that particular smack from BNE!.

Perhaps I'll give F-IT girl a bit of credit and hope that she had her own "teachable moment" today. Maybe she had enough decency to feel awkward. Maybe she'll go through life without someone having to sarcastically ask, "gee honey, who's prouder of you? your mother or your father?"

Here's hoping for the best.

In the meantime, thanks for letting me vent a bit!


ohio12 said...

that is really bad. recently i was at a gas station and a woman approached me asking for money, but she punctuated her story (in front of my kids) with a TON of nasty profanity. i couldn't believe that she thought that would be ok!
(oh and yes, i did give her a little bit of money, but only to get her to stop talking and go away!) if i hadn't been a little afraid, i would have asked her not to talk that way in front of my daughters.

Anonymous said...

When our lad was of a certain age, he spoke clearly, loudly, but didn't have all his consonants quite figured out. While walking with Mom in our leafy, Chicago suburb one day, he spotted a large recycling truck. An exciting event, to be sure, and he wanted to make sure Mom appreciated it.

"Mommy! Blue Fuck! Blue Fuck!"

"That's right! Trrrrrrrrruck! T-R-U-C-K! Trrrrrrrrrruck!"

The little old lady behind them just about laughed herself to death.

rita said...

My son also had a difficult time with his "t-r's" when he was little. And, yes, his favorite word was "truck".

My genius nephew, when he was in kindergarten, got off the bus and walked up to his mom with a big smile on his face and said, "Hello, Motherfucker!" A "big" boy told him that was a fun thing to say.

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